


Blighted

by vakarian_shepard



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, sort of?? - Fandom
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Making Out, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakarian_shepard/pseuds/vakarian_shepard
Summary: The Hero of Ferelden tries to skip out on her assassin husband to chase the cure to the Calling. It goes about as well as expected.





	

_Sweetly Beloved,_

_I am so sorry to leave you like this. Really, truly sorry. I know you’re going to jump to conclusions, but I promise it’s not because I stopped loving you—Maker help me, I’ll love you until the day I die._

_Which is, in fact, why I’m leaving._

_You see, when one joins the Wardens, they don’t tell you that you’re signing your own death certificate. Not plainly, anyway. Usually, Wardens get anywhere from 10-30 years of relative peace, before the Blight catches up to them. It starts with nightmares, and then you start to hear voices. Singing. It’s pretty, actually, but terrifying._

_Every Warden must answer the Calling—even the Hero of Ferelden._

_Or, so they say. Usually, when the time comes, the Warden throws themselves a party and then disappears into the Deep Roads to kill as many darkspawn as they can before being overwhelmed._

_In War, Victory._

_In Peace, Vigilance._

_In Death, Sacrifice._

_Supposedly._

_I’m not about to give up that easily, though, so I’m not headed to the Deep Roads. If I succeed in this quest, I will come home to you—this I swear. The goal is always to come home to you, my love._ _Always_ _._

_“But, amor, would it not be better for me to come with you?” you want to say, right? And maybe you have a point, but the dreams I’ve been having, and the voices I’ve heard…_

_I’m afraid I’ll hurt you._

_Do you remember Hespith? And Ruck? Do you remember how they lost bits of who they were, until they were all but consumed by the Blight?_

_I can’t let you see me like that. That can’t be your last memory of me if, Maker forbid, the Blight gets me before I can find a cure. And what’s worse, the dreams I’ve been having, they all—I hurt you. I dream that I lose myself and I hurt you. That the Old Gods whisper to me and make me hurt you and all I can do is sit and watch through my own eyes and it’s—_

_I can’t let that happen. I can’t. You have to understand that._

_I would burn the world down in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe, do you know that? Everything I do is for you—to make sure you are happy and healthy and safe. That is why I’m leaving and why I can’t bring you with me._

_I love you._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Don’t ever forget that, Zevran. Don’t you ever doubt that I don’t love you with everything I have. You have meant the world to me and you have made my life so much better since the moment you tried to assassinate me. I wouldn’t change a second of our time together._

_I love you._

_-Kira_

 

* * *

 

 

He wasn’t meant to find this, he realized the further he read. Not yet, anyway. He was clutching the paper so hard that it was crinkling, and his hands shook as he read through it a second time, hoping he’d misunderstood, perhaps, or—

No. No, he hadn’t misunderstood. 

This was a goodbye. She was leaving him.

Or, well, she was going to try.

 

* * *

 

They went to bed like normal that night, though she kissed him a little longer, a little harder, a little _deeper_ than usual. He was astride her hips when he really caught the way she was looking at him, drinking in the sight of his skin as he pulled his shirt over his head because this wasn’t unusual—they often ended up missing pieces of clothes at night. Her hands ran up his torso and, though her letter weighed heavily in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but moan softly at the feeling of her hands on him, letting his head fall back and leaning into the touch. She sat up as her hands trailed back down towards his hips, one hand leaving his skin and threading into his hair to tilt his head and bare his throat to her.

He groaned, a little louder than he’d meant to, when she unexpectedly bit down on his neck. She pressed a wet kiss to the spot, almost in apology, sucking lightly before making her way up to his jaw.

“I love you,” she breathed, breath hot on his skin.

He bent his head to kiss her, reaching for the hem of her shirt as well, only to have her push his hands away. “Ah,” she said, hesitantly, avoiding his eyes when he pulled back to look at her, “not tonight.”

“Is something wrong?” he asked, wondering if maybe she’d just tell him, especially since she had him half naked on her lap.

She shook her head, smiling a smile that didn’t reach her eyes as her fingers traced his hipbones. “No, I just—not tonight.” Her touch left a trail of heat in its wake as she ran her hands up his chest again, and he had to fight a little to remember why he wanted to talk. “Kiss me again, my love.”

And he did. He kissed her and she kissed him, and everything felt normal—blissfully, wonderfully normal, just him and the love of his life. 

They settled to bed eventually, but he did not sleep. He pretended, for hours it felt, having stashed the note back where he found it earlier.

Then, she began to stir, and still he waited. He pretended to stretch in his sleep, rolling onto his stomach and turning his head towards her, watching as she began to pack her things. When she disappeared into the closet, he got up, picking up the note where she’d already laid it out and waiting patiently.

She jumped, gasping, one hand clutching her heart, when she noticed him sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless, letter in hand. He smiled a little. “Going somewhere?”

Kira slumped against the wall, eyes zeroing in on the paper in his hands. He waited for her to say something— _anything—_ but all she did was look away and worry her bottom lip between her teeth. The longer the silence stretched on, the more frustrated he got. Did she think him stupid?

“ _Kira_ ,” he said firmly, but she only flinched. “Kira, look at me.” 

Hesitantly, she did, and his heart broke just a little to see the tears that slipped down her cheeks. 

“ _Talk_ to me,” he begged, rising and tossing the letter aside to cross the room to her. “What is happening?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper, cupping her face and wiping at her tears.

“I—,” she began tightly. She sobbed, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth and shaking her head. Carefully, she turned her back to him and pulled at her shirt, baring her back to him.

His stomach dropped.

The treelike mark—he hadn’t seen it like that since the Blight. It was red, and swollen—in a few places, it looked like it had been reopened. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to take her shirt off earlier.

“I—I’ve started h-hearing th-th-the singing,” she stuttered through hiccuping breaths. “And the— _nightmares_ ,” she sobbed. “The nightmares, Z-Zev, I _can’t_ …”

Gently, he pulled her shirt back down over her back and she pressed her forehead to the wall, sobbing and hugging her arms to her chest. He tugged at her shoulders, pleased when she turned willingly and immediately pressed her face to his shoulder, though she didn’t uncurl her arms.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” she mumbled.

“No, you’re not,” he replied, “because I’m coming with you.”

“No—,” she began, but he cut her off.

“How, exactly, do you plan to stop me, _querida_? Will you tie me to the bed and steal the fastest horse in the stables? Have me arrested and chained in the dungeons?” When all she did was sniffle and shrug, he sighed and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “’Til death do us part, no? For better or for worse? Those were our vows, yes?”

She sniffled. “Yeah.”

“Then, as your husband, it is my duty to see this through with you. I am with you until the end, my Grey Warden—or have you forgotten?” He squeezed when she laughed, watery and sad, but grinning against his skin. “We will find this cure together, my love. No matter what it takes, or where it takes us—I will be with you every step of the way.”

“Could very well lead us to our death,” she sighed, finally wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Then we will be dead,” he chuckled, shrugging. “One does not do what we do and fear death so very greatly, right?” She snorted and he squeezed her shoulders. “Whatever happens, my dear, we will face it together.”

“…Okay. Okay. Come—let’s pack then. I’d like to get out of here before sunrise. I don’t want to be followed.”

“ _Si, amor_.”

**Author's Note:**

> *writes anything but what im supposed to be writing*


End file.
